All Podcasts With Tonya Hackney
Want to have more influence over how your kids see the world? Then make them a priority! Today I conclude my conversation with Tanya Hackney - sailor and author of Leaving the Safe Harbor. We talk...
What can churches learn from sitting around and eating pancakes? Today I continue my conversation with Tanya Hackney - sailor and author of Leaving the Safe Harbor. Tanya talks about how they found...
Do we have to live on a boat in order to teach the value of obedience to our kids? Today I start my conversation with Tanya Hackney - sailor and author of Leaving the Safe Harbor. Tanya talks about...
Home Schooling, Parental Responsibility, and the American Dream
Do we have to live on a boat in order to teach the value of obedience to our kids? Today I start my conversation with Tanya Hackney - sailor and author of Leaving the Safe Harbor. Tanya talks about how obedience to the Captain - her husband - and to the First Mate - herself - can translate into life lessons in faith and practice for our children.
I am fascinated as to how you take those idioms and those stories and you make them into life lessons. For instance, your kids of how they had the rules to follow and how that translated into making them really great kids when they come into port. For instance, your last lesson, your last rule on your poster is probably the most important rule of all obey the captain and how that translates well into into everything they do. Our listeners might not know I grew up on sailing a boat, and that wasn't the last rule. It was the first rule. Captain Daddy is always right. The second rule is if Captain Daddy is wrong, apply rule number one. And your rule is a lot like that. Obey the captain. And that's really a life and faith lesson as well.
You know that we began our kind of our obedience training with our children much earlier than when we bought the boat. Now on a boat obedience is not just a philosophy or an idea, it can be life and death. And so we knew our children needed to be able to respond to their name. Stop if we said stop. Come if we said come, because it would be the maybe the difference between falling overboard or not. And so obedience was very important. And on the spiritual side, if we never learn to obey our parents, you know who love us imperfectly, then how are we going to learn to obey God who loves us perfectly? We really have to establish, I guess, trust in authority, certainly an appropriate trust in authority so that we when God tells us to go or do something that we're, you know, ready and listening and that we're able to apply self-discipline and self-discipline happens maybe as a result of being disciplined. The goal of discipline is ultimately that you don't need to be ruled, but that you rule yourself. And that was always kind of a conversation that we had with our kids when they didn't didn't like something that we some rule that we had passed down or some way that we applied the rule. If we if our kids were unhappy with some rule that we had passed or some way that we applied it, we would just explain to them that if they ruled themselves, then we would not have to rule them. If we if a if a people, for example, is self-governing, then they don't need, you know, heavy handed government. And that applies to family life, boat life and probably country life to the life of our country.
C.S. Lewis, in his great book Paralandra, which he he even C.S. Lewis said was one of his best books, writes all about obedience, even when we don't understand it. And that's I think the role of parents is that we are to teach our kids obedience at an age when they don't understand it. Then, as your kids have grown up and have gained more understanding and more wisdom is that some of that obedience can can be replaced by questioning. But on the other hand, some of that obedience is still there. If the captain says do it, there's a reason why the captain says do it.
Well, obedience is built on trust and love, I mean, sometimes we have to obey even when there is no trust and love. I mean, that's a good example, too, but in a parent child relationship, do they trust us to have their best interests in mind so that they can obey even when they don't understand it? And then there's a little bit of give and take, as you said, as they get older, I think our rule was always obey first, ask later. I was raised in the I told you so generations. So if you asked your parents why, they would say, because I told you so. And that irritated me, and I said, Well, when I'm a parent, I'm always going to explain everything. I tend to now over-explain to my kids, are rolling their eyes like, we get it, mom, we got it. That's enough. Like, Yes, ma'am, I said, Yes, ma'am, but I always wanted them to know why we had made a certain decision. And so we tried not to make arbitrary rules. And when we had to say no or whatever we said, they would obey it and then come back and say, Can you explain your decision? And if we could, we would.
Leaving the Safe Harbor: The Risks and Rewards of Raising a Family on a Boat
Leaving the Safe Harbor shows us more than seafaring stories or what it’s like to go sailing with kids. Each chapter explores a different sailing idiom and the character traits developed by challenges and adventures. It shows that conflict can be handled through grace, how failures can lead to future successes, how hardship can teach us gratitude and help us find inner strength. It reveals the trade-offs when a family prioritizes relationships and experiences over material things and a so-called normal life. Living close to nature enriches the author’s spiritual life. And the ocean teaches life lessons, including how to be flexible, disciplined, patient, and open to new experiences. Most importantly, Leaving the Safe Harbor shows us how love, perseverance, and hard work can turn an idea into a reality